Recently, someone I know created a web site to meet Ms Right. In
his site he shared in great detail who he was and what he was
looking for. A great idea and nicely written with lots of humor.
After reading it, the humor side of my brain started asking
If I were designing my own personal web site, would it be
appropriate to include Google Ads.
Reasons for listing Google Ads.
1. If readers were bored with my biography, they would have convenient places
2. If readers loved what they saw and they sent their friends to
the site to check me out, their friends could shop for wedding
gifts while they were there.
3. If the site got no responses, at least I’d make a few bucks on
Reasons for not listing Google Ads.
1. The ads might be more interesting than my biography.
2. They might run ads for someone else’s personal web site.
3. They might run ads for divorce attorneys.
That got me thinking about seven years ago when I was creating my
own internet personal ads looking for the right person. Did you
know that when you tell people you’re looking for someone with
three eyes, people with only two eyes will respond to your ad
I also discovered that a generic ad, maybe 25-50 words, usually
received no response. So I experimented with a long-form ad, over 1000 words. And would you believe that I included lots of
humor? Every time I posted the longer ad, I received around 50
replies. I’m not sure whether they were attracted to me or to my
In my ads I included an Online Personals Dictionary with dozens of convenient translations of typical ad phrases into real-world
language. This was a tongue-in-cheek “public service” to help
people understand what personal ads were really saying. Here are a few samples:
In shape = Round is a shape.
Swimmers build = A whale swims.
Honest = Will immediately stop chatting with you once you tell them your age.
Open minded = Brains fell out years ago.
Good looking = Able to look at things really well.
Handsome = A quote from his mother.
Educated = Will treat you like an idiot.
Masculine = Looks like a caveman.
Age is relative = Looks like your uncle.
Athletic = Watches sports on TV.
Visits gym = Loves looking at self in the mirror.
Likes quiet evenings at home, candlelit dinners and walks in the
rain = Not an original thought in his head.
Long-term relationship = More than two weeks in length.
Love at first sight = When two lonesome, non-selective people meet for the first time.
In the ad, throughout my self-description, I would drop in an
occasional bit of humor: “I’ve never robbed a bank. Neither have you. Convenience store OK.”
The response was overwhelmingly positive. I only received one
negative reply in three posting of the longer, humorous ads. One
person suggested I was bitter. The writer was probably very much
in need of a laugh. The response told me it was definitely not a
match for me. The ad was doing its job.
The good news is that I met the love of my life through an online
ad. I now have a terrific relationship and we laugh together every day.